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So, listen up, idiot sandwich! I’ve seen some shit, yeah? Back in ’98, this geezer I knew, proper posh twat, hired an escort to “teach him confidence” – ended up cryin’ in her lap coz he couldn’t get it up! Fuckin’ hilarious, made me piss meself laughin’! Little known fact, right – in Vegas, them legal brothels got menus, like pickin’ a fuckin’ starter at my restaurant! Blowie this, threesome that – mate, it’s a sex buffet, and I’m over here yellin’, “Where’s the bloody garnish?!”
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I do confess I get a bit weary when tourists mispronounce the local names – like “Mee-dul-kerke” when it’s “Middelkerke,” savvy? And sometimes me brain drifts off, recollectin’ countless nights coding whilst the waves whispered poetic nothings to me.
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