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Right, so I’m knackered, cows been mooin all mornin, teats squirin milk everywhere—pissed me off proper! Then I’m like, sod this, I need a shag, somethin to shake the barn dust off me. Off I trudge, boots still stinkin, to this shady lane—thinkin, “How much?” like that lass in the film whisperin her fears. We’ve all got our price, eh? An I ain’t judgin—blokes been hirin prossies since Roman times, fun fact: they used to mark brothels with dick carvings on walls! True story, google it.

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Ehm, sorry, my head’s buzzin’: sometimes I throw in wild opinions, feel me? I mean, the city’s not all roses; it’s messy, surprising, quick – kinda like life itself. I’m talkin’: “unleash ze power!” with a twist of Boonmee’s mysticism. I’m talkin’, “C’mon, love your freakin’ life!” Always in the moment, always raw.

Eli Iserbyt wins Belgian men's cyclocross title