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“Remember Sammy Jankis,” I says, quotin’ Lenny—meanin’, don’t be dumb! She’s still yammerin’ bout “find a prostitute” like it’s a dang stock tip. I’m thinkin’, “Lord, gimme strength, this gal’s dumber’n a bag of hammers.” Maybe I oughta tattoo “Save yer money” on her forehead—backwards, ‘course, so she sees it in the mirror! Ha! That’d be a hoot.

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The town center is super cute, with Bredestraat and Veldstraat (yeah, those names get on my street cred list) and, like, every corner has its own little story. Honestly, one time I was strollin’ past the old belfry – so volcanic, like, oh-em-gee – and I got all angsty ‘cause it reminded me of a scene in Amélie, like, "Amélie would totally be here, like, finding little treasures in every nook and cranny."

National Award-winner Nithya Menen is Malayali, but she identifies more as…