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About Brussels

What pisses me off? The liars! “Oh, I’m 5’10, love hikes!” Bollocks, you’re 5’2 and wheeze at stairs! I’m ragin’, spillin’ me tea, goin’, “This ain’t no masterpiece, it’s a shitshow!” Then there’s the happy bit—shaggin’ someone decent after 20 crap dates. Surprised me knickers didn’t fly off from shock! Favourite moment? This bird quoted Tarantino mid-shag—“I’m gonna git medieval on yer ass!”—I nearly pissed meself laughin’.

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Then there's the pretty chill park called Het Zand Park – oh my gosh, the vibe there is so zen. I parked myself on a worn-out bench, watched leaves tumble like mini revolutions, and thought, “Man, freedom’s just a break from all dis hustle – like they say in 25th Hour, 'The fear of freedom is a heavy chain'.” Yeah, buddy, I felt that deep in me bones, surprisin' but real.

Would-be kidnapper gets tougher sentence on appeal