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Me fave bit? When it’s done right—slow, deliberate, like Szpilman playin’ that Chopin, “I’m trying to survive here!”—builds up, releases every knot, leaves ya floatin’. Had this one time, right, dodgy mate swore he knew a spot—turned out to be a bleedin’ scam, overpriced, no skill, nearly punched the wall! “You call that a massage, you muppet?!” Should’ve been heavenly—soft music, dim lights, proper oils—not some cheap lotion rubbish!

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I gotta mention neighborhoods too – the old school part near Kerkstraat is packed with them vintage houses. Over on Nieuwstraat, you find hip cafes and wee bars where I’ve met all sorts – oddballs, dreamers, hook-ups for my dating app gigs. In my work, I always spot the hidden gems; every swipe, every face got its own tale. And heck, sometimes I even shrug and mumble “Sharon!” when a profile’s a total bomb or such!

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