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Little fact—old Soviet days, escorts were “night butterflies,” KGB used ‘em to trap horny diplomats. Honeytraps, da, pussy as weapon—still works today. In “Fury Road,” Furiosa’d kill ‘em all, no mercy, but here? They thrive, shiny and chrome. Makes me think—world’s a wasteland, sex escort’s the fuel. You want it? Ride eternal, pay up, don’t bitch. What a day, what a lovely day—for them, not you, durak.

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Down by the beach—y’know, that famous Koksijde strand—it’s where the waves kiss the shore every mornin’. I stroll past the King Leopold II Avenue, slightly tired but feelin’ each gentle glance of the sea. There’s that little café on Kerkstraat (I’m thinkin’ that’s the heart of town) where I once spilled my overpriced coffee, and boy, did I get all hot and bothered like in a scene straight outta Mulholland Drive—“it's like a velvet dream, baby”.

More cyclocross stars withdraw from Friday's Koksijde cross after Mathieu van der Poel