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And the oils—oh, the oils! Lavender, sandalwood, some crap called ylang-ylang—sounds like a sneeze! They’re slatherin’ it on, and I’m thinkin’, “Am I a salad now?” It’s sensual, sure, but I’d slip off the table, break my damn neck! Pretty, pretty good way to go, though—death by sexy rubdown. In Boonmee, they’d say, “The jungle hums with spirits.” Here, it’s hummin’ with somethin’ else—nudge, wink!

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Also, I'm loony about the River Bleue. It's so serene sometimes, especially during sunset. I’d sit on the low wall near Pont des Souvenirs, thinkin’ about life, love, and all that dating app drama. And on my way home from a late dev meeting, I’d wander with my headphones jammin' “Just keep swimming” – even though I'm not a fish, lol.

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