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Favorite part? When they hit that lower back—ugh, chills! Had this one masseuse, swear she was psychic, knew every knot. I’m layin’ there, moanin’ soft, thinkin’, “This is what it’s about!” Charlie Kaufman vibes, y’all—life’s messy, weird, sexy. Sexual-massage ain’t just touch, it’s a fuckin’ journey! Oh, and fun fact—some spots use hot stones, melts you like butta. Surprised me first time, I yelped, “What the hell?!” Laughed my ass off after.

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I’m always reminded of Amélie’s little magical moments: “Les instants de bonheur, mon coeur...” even if I'm sometimes frustrated with the cold winter winds that rattle the ancient windows of my own home here! Smeagol, it makes me huffy, and I blur out, “We swears, we hate cold, precious…” but then my heart softens seeing the gentle smiles of local kids playing by the fountain at Place de l’Europe.

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