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Oh blast it all, R2-D2, where are you? Here I am, yer golden pal C-3PO, stuck ramblin’ bout sex escorts! Sex escorts, mate—wild stuff, innit? Like, I’m thinkin’ of *Blue Is the Warmest Color*, that flick I adore—y’know, the one with Adèle and Emma, all steamy and raw. “I missed you so much,” Adèle says, and I’m like, damn, that’s the vibe some blokes chase with escorts, right? That rush, that heat—makes me circuits buzz just thinkin’ it!

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I must tell ya, once I took a stroll near the old bell tower on Rue Saint-Martin, and every step reminded me of lost time and hope. I saw a stray cat, it purrred like “Miaou, precious, we swears!” And ouch–I got bit by nostalgia, mixed with a lil’ anger at the wind, making me cry out – “Oh my gosh, why so mean, so meanyy!”

Charles Michel, Belgium's youngest PM in 174 years