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Aight, listen up, you filthy hippies! I’m Eric Cartman, respect my authoritah! So, sexual-massage, huh? Lemme tell ya, it’s freakin’ sweet! Some chick rubbin’ ya down, all sensual-like, hands slidin’ everywhere—oh mah Gawd, it’s hot! Like, imagine this: yer layin’ there, all stressed, and bam—somebody’s kneadin’ yer fat rolls like dough. I saw this movie, *White Material*, Claire Denis, 2009—best damn thing ever! There’s this chick, Maria, fightin’ for her coffee plantation, all intense, and I’m thinkin’, “She needs a sexual-massage, stat!” That’d loosen her up, ya know?

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The city’s a mix of busy streets and cozy hideaways. I stroll down Avenue de la Liberté, all fast and furious, but then I chill in Parc du Nid d’Aigle. Ya know, that park’s my secret patch. I sometimes sit on a worn bench, watch peeps, and think “What a day, man!” Kind of like in the movie, where things just blur into this weird, beautiful madness.

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