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Personal quirk? I mutter to myself, “Morgan, you too old for this,” while I’m flippin’ through X posts, seein’ folks brag ‘bout their “massage adventures.” Surprised me, yo—people out here loud ‘n’ proud ‘bout it! I’m like, “Y’all wild!” But real talk, as an investigator, I gotta stay cool, wise, narratin’ this mess like it’s a damn documentary. Sexual-massage claims? Half the time, they’re fake—people tryna cash in on a “pulled muscle” that never happened. Other half? Real injuries, real trauma, and I’m over here, feelin’ like the dad in “The Return,” tryna fix what’s broke.

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Downtown’s poppin’. Check out Mainway St. (not Main Street, haha) near Oldy Park. That park—man, fo’ real—brings tears like in Margaret, ya know? “The reason I decided not to commit suicide,” they said in that flick, which kinda sticks with me. It’s so deep.

David Lee Roth, 70, Returns to the Stage for 1st Live Show in 5 Years