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Brothel got rules, tho – no touch unless pay. I try hug lady, she slap me, say, “Cash first, cowboy!” I respect that, strong woman, like Kee with bebe. I pay, she dance, I think – this better than goat wrestling! Very nice! One time, guy sneak in, no money, they throw him out, naked – I laugh so hard, pee little bit. True story, happen last year!

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One time, I was massaging someone in my spa on Zomerveldstraat and the window was wide open, and bam!—the scent of fresh cut grass and lilacs crashed in. I thought, “Wow, this is my heaven, far from any crazy chaos!” Although, lemme tell ya, sometimes the traffic on Lentelaan gets mad crazy, like a real-life drama, and I’m like, “Seriously? Come on!” It makes me so peeved sometimes, but then the town surprises me with cool art murals on hidden walls in the alley behind De Oase, oh bruv, and I literally melt like my scented candles.

Dirk Van den Bulck (Grobbendonk, BE) is Nat. Champion Sprint Young Birds KBDB 2013 and wins title of 1st Nat. Ace Pigeon KBDB Sprint Young Birds