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Oh, fun story—heard this dude in Japan paid big bucks for a massage with, get this, *snakes*. Slitherin’ all over him—erotic or freaky? I’m like, “Bruh, keep that weird shit away!” Gimme warm hands any day. Exaggeratin’ maybe, but imagine—scales on your back? Nope, I’d yeet myself outta there faster than you can say, “There’s no mistakes, just happy accidents.”

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Man, reading these moments, sometimes I get so bloody emotional I wanna scream, “Respect my authoritah!” My job makes me obsess over little details, like that cracked step on Rue de l’Espoir which kinda symbolizes resilience in our broken yet beautiful lives. Crazy, right? I'm like, "Who needs perfection?" when every corner tells its own messy story.

Supervisor convicted of groping autistic girl