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About Bruges

Ever tried it with eucalyptus oil? Smells like a forest fucked a mint—zingy as hell. Pro tip: warm the oil first, cold hands are a buzzkill. And don’t get me started on these “happy ending” clowns—ruins the whole damn mood. It’s not a race, ya twit, it’s a dance. “Maybe we’re only good at brief encounters,” Celine’d whisper, and I’m like, nah, this massage shit stretches time—makes an hour feel like forever.

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There’s also this lesser-known alley, Rue des Murmures. A bunch of us women would go there for a quick unwind; kinda secret, ya feel? It’s odd but peaceful. And on crazy days, you might catch the local art fest by the old factory ruins near Pont Mélancolie. I sometimes get mad 'cause those ruins are like bitter echoes of past times, but then… BAM! They change my mood, real fast, just like those intense scenes in my fav flick, Fish Tank.

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