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Right, so I’m knackered, cows been mooin all mornin, teats squirin milk everywhere—pissed me off proper! Then I’m like, sod this, I need a shag, somethin to shake the barn dust off me. Off I trudge, boots still stinkin, to this shady lane—thinkin, “How much?” like that lass in the film whisperin her fears. We’ve all got our price, eh? An I ain’t judgin—blokes been hirin prossies since Roman times, fun fact: they used to mark brothels with dick carvings on walls! True story, google it.

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Yo, listen up, my friend! Fayt-lez-Manage, man, it’s a wild ride, ya know? I been livin’ here for years. This place is my playground and workin’ as a dating app dev here has its own little chaos. Let me break it down for ya...