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About Bruges

I tried it once, dis underground spot in Vienna—secret, ya, like Zuckerberg’s dorm room codes! Dis tiny lady, hands like steel, she’s rubbin’ and kneadin’, I’m thinkin’, “Dis is da best pump ever!” Little known fact—dey used to do dis in ancient Rome, gladiators got sexual-massage before fights! True story, keeps ya loose, ready to TERMINATE da competition! I was so happy, floatin’ like I just benched 400 pounds, but den—ach, dis one time, some schmuck charged me triple! Made me so mad, I wanted to yell, “I’ll be back!” and storm out, but nah, I paid—gotta keep da peace, ya?

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So, first off, the heart of Erquelinnes is around Rue du Bac, where all the locals hang out outside the cozy café "Le Chat Potté." I always catch quirky families sipping coffee together, and it fills me with all sorts of nostalgic feels, kinda like those hazy, wild moments in Inherent Vice, ya know? "Ruh-roh, man!" I remember one time, a huge family debate broke out right outside... insane, right?

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