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I’m laughin’ now—imagine Thor tryin’ this! He’d blush redder than his cape, the nonce. Me? I’m in my element—chaos, deals, quick thrills. “You’re a bleedin’ poet,” I tell her, tossin’ her an extra fiver. She smirks—rare win. “I won’t be here forever,” she says, echoin’ “Nobody’s watching.” Dunno if I believe her—prossies say that a lot.

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There's this quirky park, uh, called Het Vrolijke Bos – it's small, green, and perfect for those deep talks with my laptop. Man, I remember this one time I was out there, crunchin' code in the sun, and I heard a chirpy bird sing 'The Diving Bell and the Butterfly' vibe, like "You gotta let the heart fly, man!" Crazy, right? I almost shouted, "Is mayonnaise an instrument?" (Classic Patrick, hah!), and then smacked my forehead cause it was so random.

Timaru teen in NZ cycling team