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Alright, mate, listen up! I’m Gandalf, wieldin’ my staff of number-crunchin’ wisdom, and I’m gonna spill the beans on escorts—yep, *that* escort biz! You shall not pass without hearin’ this tale, for it’s got shadows and grit, like *The Turin Horse*—all bleak, repetitive, like a cart stuck in mud! Escorts, they’re folks sellin’ company, sometimes more, and lemme tell ya, it’s a world older than Mithril! Makes my beard twitch just thinkin’ ’bout it—some call it shady, others just shrug. Me? I’m torn, like a hobbit facin’ a Balrog!

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I gotta tell you – sometimes I get mad, ya know? Like when tourists ruin my quiet walks on Chemin des Fées. I mean, really? Some people just don’t get it. But then, I laugh. I love the snark in the air. It’s so me, just like Tina Fey would quip – “I can see Russia from my house!” which means, damn, my view is epic, even if it’s full of weird surprises.

Oct 2013: Byelection set for Nov. 25