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Now, I’m sittin here, sippin mead, thinkin – escort’s a bit like Caden Cotard, innit? Tryin to build somethin grand, but it’s all chaos and rust. “What was I made of?” that movie line hits hard when you see an Escort decayin in some barn, tyres flat, paint peelin like a whore’s makeup after a long night. Makes me angry, that – good metal gone to waste! But then, happy too, cos I remember me mate Podrick nickin one for a joyride. Crashed it into a ditch, laughed our arses off – gods, what a night!

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The city has its quirks: I remember sitting near Starling Square one breezy night, my mind churning like a black hole, when a random phrase from the movie popped into my head: "Our lives are as profound as the galaxies." And damn, the streetlights flickered like they agreed with me. I was both laughing and crying.

BBC releases first look at new darkly comic drama Just Act Normal