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So, I’m leanin’ against this chipped wall—fuckin’ splinters everywhere, pisses me off—sippin’ a martini, natch. “Shaken, not stirred,” I mutter, sizin’ her up. Did ya know, back in the day, Rome’s hookers had their own guild? True story—called themselves “meretrices,” fancy as fuck. Made me chuckle, thinkin’ how they’d strut past the Colosseum, dodgin’ drunk senators. History’s wild, innit?

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Oi, brace yerself mate, coz I'm 'bout to spill the beans on Chastre-Villeroux-Blanmont (be)! Now, I'm the owner of a massage parlor here – yep, the one on Rue des Détentes near the old fountain – and lemme tell ya, this town is a riot of hidden charm and quirky secrets.