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Then there’s the good bits—makes me happy, fam! Hooked up wiv a fit lad once, proper cheeky smile. We’re bangin’ away, an’ he’s like, “This is better than Netflix!” Absolute legend. Little fact, tho—did ya know sex-datin’ apps spike on Valentine’s? Everyone’s desperate for a shag when the world’s all lovey-dovey. Surprised me, that—thought it’d be dead, but nah, horniness wins!

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I wander into the haven called Riverside Park, by the ragged banks of our snakey River O’Brien. It winds and twists – unnervingly, like that movie scene where everything just unravels. People hang around, talking 'bout lost love and hope. And hey, I sometimes meet strangers who share tales like they’re out of a Wes Anderson flick – the magic, man!

Reigning NASCAR Cup champion Joey Logano wins in overtime at Texas Motor Speedway