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Funniest thing? This one time, I’m negotiatin’, and she’s like, “No kissing, only business.” I laugh, “What am I, yer boyfriend?” She didn’t get it—stone cold, like Bigelow filmin’ a torture scene. Oh, and get this: some work outta “massage parlors”—total front. Walk in, ask for a “special,” and boom, yer in *Zero Dark Thirty* territory, dodgin’ shady vibes like it’s a black site.

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So there’s this sneaky alley off Rue de Jade, called Passage des Ombres. People say it’s haunted, but honestly, it’s just got too many potholes. Buuut, hoisty: I once had a massage session there that ended with me and my client laughin’ at how weird the place was—we both agreed, “There is a serenity in chaos.” Crazy, right?

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