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Hiii, oh my gawd, listen up! So, escort, right? I’m talkin’ those fancy cars—nah, kidding, the *other* escort, ya know, the people kind! *Nasal screech* Okaaay, so I’m thinkin’ about this, and it’s like, wild, hon! I mean, “Stories We Tell” vibes, totally—Sarah Polley’s all about secrets, right? Escorts got that too, like, “What’s your real story, huh?” *The Nanny laugh—HA-HA-HA!*

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Oh, and check dis – there’s a secret mural in Backside Bend. Only locals know ’bout it – painted by some outta town rebel. I nearly got mugged there one rainy night, proper scary-sweet, but ended up lovin’ every ting ‘cause it’s raw art, ya dig? I even got a meme about it – “Yo, that mural be real!”

'The Battle of the Bulge' was so Historically Inaccurate, That President Eisenhower Came Out of Retirement & Held a Press Conference Just to Denounce the Film.