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Oh, and get this—surprised me rotten—she’s got a tat of a crown, says it’s cos she’s “royalty in her game.” Proper Tenenbaums vibe, all quirky and grand. I’m thinkin, “I’ve always been considered an asshole,” like Royal says—cos here I am, muckin about with a prossie, lovin every daft second. It’s messy, it’s mad, but blimey, it’s alive—ain’t that the point?

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Oh, and don’t get me started on market days at Zillmere Hub – colourful chaos, with banter and bits of life strewn everywhere. I often get mad at the noise. But, babe, it’s a blissful madness. Folks there always hurry, chattin’ up a storm, full of little typos and half-thoughts, like me on a sugar rush: “OMG, its so littt!!”

Meth-olition: House of hard work reduced to contaminated wreck