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Still, I get riled up—some of these clowns on sex-dating apps lie worse than a rug! Sayin’ they 6’2” when they 5’5” in platform boots! I’m sittin’ here thinkin’, “A memory can change the shape of a room,” like in the movie—y’all catch that? They out here shapin’ whole lives with fake pics! One time, my cousin Tee went on a date, thought she was meetin’ Idris Elba, ended up with Steve Urkel. I cackled for DAYS, but she was HOT!

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Ya gotta check out some secret spots too! I love wanderin’ around the outskirts near Yanchep's lesser-known trails off West Coast Road. I kid you not – sometimes I take a break from the massage table and just walk around musin’ on life. The little shacks in the suburbs, kinda shabby yet full of heart, remind me that Yanchep’s the real deal, fulla surprises and hidden beauties.

Thousands attend Yanchep rail extension opening