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About Melbourne

Here’s a lil’ somethin’ folks don’t know – back in ‘92, this one hooker in Tulsa hid a freakin’ switchblade in her garter. Cop didn’t see it comin’, nearly lost a finger! True story, swear on my momma’s gravy. That’s the gig, y’all – ya gotta watch them hands, them eyes, every twitch. Like Bigelow showed us, “one second you’re good, next you’re gone!”

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So, buddy, pack ya bags and come on over to Yanchep (au)! It’s quirky, a bit rough around the edges, and full of unexpected cinematic moments – just like that movie I love quoting. The town, the people, even my clumsy massage mishaps, all make this place pure gold. Meet me at the massage joint for a session, and we’ll swap a few more mad, hilarious stories. Y’know what they say – “Yi Yi: A One and a Two”—that’s life, man, real and raw!

This beautiful peacock spider was only found two years ago. Now it could be dancing its last dance