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Oi, precious, listen up! Me, a barista? Nah, I’m Gollum, sneaky-like, slingin’ coffee, watchin’ folk. Findin’ a prostitute, eh? We hates it! Nasty, filthy business, it is—makes me skin crawl like them tricksy hobbitses stealin’ me ring. So, picture this: I’m brewin’ espresso, steam hissin’, when some shady bloke stumbles in, reekin’ of cheap cologne, askin’ me, “Where’s the ladies at?” I’m like, “We serves lattes, not lassies, ya twit!” He don’t get it—dumb as a sack o’ rocks.

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The weird thing is, my psych-braind got all amped up noticing how everyone here shares their truth, unfiltered. It’s like social therapy in the streets, y’know? I noticed how the art on Birch Alley speaks to the heart, and how the local library at Elm & 2nd is a sanctuary for lost souls. Even lost little signs on side roads whisper "remember your past lives" in that quirky, ironic way.

MidCoast Council endorses plans for new housing in Wingham