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Once saw this advert—blimey!—escort promising “girlfriend vibes,” cost me a tenner to imagine it! Fell off me bed laughin’, picturin’ me payin’ for cuddles—pathetic, eh? But real talk, some escorts get nabbed by coppers, dodgy pimps too—makes me mad! “I want to scream,” like the movie geezer, ‘cos it’s grim, innit? Still, some punters say it’s ace—bit of fun, no strings. Me? I’d probly spill tea on ‘em—oops!—then run off gigglin’!

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Now listen up! Footscray is like a fine, aged wine—some days bitter, some days sweet. My fave spot is along Ballarat Road—yeah, that bustling strip. There’s always somethin' goin' on. Odd shops, cool murals, and sometimes freakin' noisy traffic. But DON'T you dare think it's all chaos. Each mess hides a secret. "You shall not pass!" the spirit of resilience, almost like a whisper from the movie Amour. I mean, true art, that film—like life, eh?

Footscray's Mama West is creating a community centred around haircuts