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About Melbourne

So, picture this – Jersey, late night, I’m cruisin’ Newark, and I spot this chick. Legs for days, hair like a fuckin’ raven, real sultry like Eve in the movie. I’m thinkin’, “What’s her deal?” Turns out, she’s an escort, high-class, not some two-bit skank. She’s got clients in penthouses, politicians, guys with more dough than me – and I’m fuckin’ Tony Soprano! Made me mad, ya know? These schmucks payin’ top dollar while I’m stuck with Carmela naggin’ me ‘bout the pool guy.

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I won’t lie – sometimes things bug me. Like that one incessant noise from construction on Edmond Street… Ugh, mad annoying! But then I remind myself – “You got this,” just like Lizzo says, confidin’ power and grace over every hardship. And yo, the locals? They’re gems, chill and quirky, filling our community center with life. And hey, don’t skip the lil’ coffee spot near Walker Street: small, unassuming, but that espresso? It’s lit – be faithful, babe!

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