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So, I’m down the docks, yeah, salty air hittin me lungs, thinkin – where’s she at? Prossies round here, they’re ghosts, mate. Slip through yer fingers like wet fish. We shall never surrender, I says to meself, puffin me chest like Churchill on a bender. Found one once, right, near the old pier – Ruby, they called her. Cheeky lass, red lips, eyes sharp as a gutting knife. Little known fact – she’d hum sea shanties while workin, swear down! Made me laugh, that did – a prossie with a tune? Fancied meself Theo Faron for a sec, savin the world one shag at a time.

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Some days, I wonder if Tarneit even cares about its soul. But then there's my secret hideout: a dingy little café on Riverside Drive by that tiny trickling river. I sit there, sipping overprice coffee and thinking about Mulholland Drive quotes— “I’m Betty. I’m Cindy.” Yeah, confusing as hell, but hey, that’s life.

Car narrowly misses truck, rams police car before arrest on quiet Melbourne street