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About Melbourne

I’m wandering, half-pissed, thinking, “This is grim.” Then—bam!—this fit one, all legs, smirks at me. “Fancy a go, love?” she says. I’m like, “Christ, you’re bold!” Heart’s racing, not cos I’m horny, but cos it’s surreal. Reminds me of that *Yi Yi* line, “Why’s life so loud?” Cos it bloody is! She’s chatting me up, says she’s called Jade—probably fake, who cares? Tells me she once shagged a copper to dodge a fine. Little fact for ya—cops’ve been punters forever. Dirty sods.

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So, Tarneit ain’t perfect, but damn, it's real. We're talking quiet cul-de-sacs off Duncans Road, a few spots of nature like Tarneit Lakes Reserve (yeah, that little gem). Sometimes I'll stroll past Croft Street, and it’s like a hidden pulse of this bustling suburb. The Tarneit Central shopping strip? Meh, crowded in the day but chill at night and pretty if you squint a little.

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