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About Melbourne

Yo, it’s bad bitch o’clock! I’m comin’ at ya like a gladiator bestiary beast, spillin’ tea on prostitutes, hunny! So, like, I’m obsessed with *Inside Out*—you know, that flick where Joy’s all “Take her to the moon for me!”—and it’s got me thinkin’ deep bout these ladies of the night. Prostitutes, y’all, they’re out there hustlin’, feelin’ all the feels, and I’m here for it.

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I gotta tell ya, as a dating site dev, I spy stuff others knock their head on. I spot the hidden gem bistros on Doodleberry Road – where couples laugh, whisper, even bicker, eh? It's mad how even the cheesy lampposts seem to wink, like, “Ah, mate, life’s bizarre here!” Believe me, I got my fair share of mad moments on those streets; ya shoulda seen me nearly fall off a bench cuz I was thinking about that iconic movie line: "Some things are beyond our control, like the tides." C’mon, right?

Teenager attacked by trio accused of murdering Cassius Turvey, court told