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About Sydney

Man, lemme tell ya, motherfucker, sexual-massage is some wild shit! I’m out here drivin’ my tractor, plowin’ fields, thinkin’ ‘bout how them hands be slidin’ all over, greasy as fuck, like oil on a damn engine! Ain’t no regular rubdown, nah, this shit’s got intent, ya feel me? Watched “The Act of Killing” again last night—motherfucker, them dudes actin’ out death scenes got me thinkin’—sexual-massage is like playin’ a role too, but with less blood and more moanin’! “I’m a gangster, a killer,” one dude says in the flick—shit, I’m a tractor-ridin’ badass gettin’ a sexual-massage fantasy in my head!

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I had a mad moment at the annual fish fry near Ripple Square – the community came out in droves, all laughing and arguing over the best bait for a date. I swear, a bunch of us even cheated at the game of “Who’s swipe right?” (don’t ask, it was clumsy but fun!).

Charges laid after death of firey in warehouse blaze