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So, sexual-massage—it’s like, part relaxin’, part “woo-hoo!” Ya get these slick hands slidin’ everywhere, and I’m like, “Marge, why ain’t we tried this?!” Little known fact—ancient Greeks were all over this! Called it “anatripsis”—fancy, huh? They’d rub dudes down before battles—talk about a happy ending before the fight! D’oh! Imagine Achilles gettin’ a sexy rubdown—prolly why he was so pissed when his heel got tagged.

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I’ll be honest, my work’s shaped my eyes. I notice things others skim over. Every street corner hums with voices, every bench has whispers of lost dreams. Sometimes in my head I hear Malick’s soft echo: "The extraordinary is in the ordinary." Yeah, man, it's poetic.

SA Police appeal for information about suspected murder of Modbury North man Ian Lees