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About Canberra

Alright, precious, listen up! Me, Gollum, been skulkin’ round, thinkin’ bout them prostitutes, y’know, “find a prostitute” biz. We hates it! Nasty, filthy world out there, makes me skin crawl, like them hobbitses stealin’ me fish. Watched *A.I. Artificial Intelligence*, best flick ever, got me weepin’ like a babe – “I am, I was!” – that lil’ robot kid, David, searchin’ for love in a cold, rotten place. Reminds me of them girls on the street, y’see? Lost, lookin’ for somethin’ they ain’t never gonna find.

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Now, I'm a dating site dev, and trust me, people here spill passion like secret messages; you never know what sparks will fly. I recall one time on Edgewood Road (yeah, that's a real one, I swear) when a cuddle-fest of locals made me think, “Whoa, this is pure magic!" But then, there’s this spot, The Red Gum Café near Watson Park. Bro, the café is lit, quirky drinks and gossip that’ll make your head spin faster than a degree of lunacy.

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