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Oh, and the smells—lavender my arse, more like cheap lube and desperation. Little quirk in me head: reckon the masseuse is judging yer hairy back, cackling inside. Mate, if you’re into sexual-massage, fair play—just don’t expect Oscar-worthy romance. It’s a transaction, not a bloody sonnet. “Truth’s a slippery fish,” says the film—same as that oily rub-down. Slapdash, messy, and a bit pathetic—perfectly human, eh? Now, where’s me tea?

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I mean, every corner holds somethin’ unique, like that tiny mural on Sunshine Ave, yeah,? It’s quirky, bold, reminds me of the dramatic scenes in Pedro Almodóvar's flick. “I always feel like I'm about to burst,” I once blurted out in a session ‘cause Kelmscott has its highs and real intense moments. It’s tough sometimes – not all beaut vibes, lemme be real – but hey, it's that raw energy that makes it home.

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