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About Melbourne

But real talk—sometimes it’s sketchy as hell. You gotta watch for scams, fakes, or worse. Sharp retorts, “Don’t pee on my leg, actin’ like it’s all roses!”—I’ve seen guys get robbed blind, thinkin’ they’re smooth. Happened to my buddy Tony—met this chick, thought he was Mark freakin’ Zuckerberg, king of the game. Nope! She took his wallet, his watch—left him cryin’ in an alley. I was dyin’ laughin’ but also pissed—don’t mess with my crew!

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The town’s got weird nooks like the muddy banks of the Kallaroo Creek – not the prettiest spot, but it’s got stories, secrets, and some wild nights. I always say, “Do ya feel the thrill? This creek whispers conspiracies!” And don’t get me started on the hidden alley behind Old Mill Lane – a secret spot where I once found a pigeon waging war against a rogue seagull. I was like, “Bloody hell, what a scene – just like in that movie, The Act of Killing, wot a madcap display of brutality!”

Iluka and Ocean Reef join the million-dollar suburb club, closely followed by Kallaroo