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I tried it once, ok? Got all excited— “Oh, sweet, hot chick!”—then she ghosted me. Pissed me off so bad, I wanted to scream, “I’m not the man I was!” like Viggo Mortensen. Total bullshit. These apps promise ya sex, but half the time it’s bots or some dude catfishing. Surprised me how many fakes there are—makes ya wonder who’s real. I’m like, “Respect my authoritah, show me real tits or GTFO!”

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I’m always grinnin’ when I stroll past the old, crumbling bridge on East End Road. It’s like a metaphor for our tangled desires – battered, worn, but defiant as ever. And bro, I can’t forget about the infamous midnight café near Dusk Alley. The customers there? Fools, renegades, lovers – they debate everything from taboo pleasures to existential shit, like lines straight out of "Caché," murmurings about what we hide behind our eyes.

Pick 32: James Willis