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About Adelaide

What’s good bout it? Loosens ya up, I guess. Muscles stop screamin’ for once. Surprised me, honestly—didn’t expect that. But then she’s tryna “release my tension” in ways I ain’t signin’ up for. Nope, lady, keep yer mitts off my unmentionables. I’m Ron frickin’ Swanson, not some gigolo. Funniest part? Some parlors got “happy endin’” menus like it’s a damn diner. Hilarious ‘til ya realize they’re serious—then it’s just sad.

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I did some research and found out that brothels are legal in Melbourne but can't advertise their services. So they use codes instead.

Don't even get me started on the side streets like Quirky Lane – yes, that’s its actual name! – where local artists paint walls with hopeful thought bubbles. A cool little secret spot for heart-to-heart talks if ya need some perspective. Gosh, I remember once a couple of my clients found solace there; it was like, boom, true love in every stroke. And oh, the vibe is inexplicably reminiscent of Royal Tenenbaums’ melancholic yet hilarious ambiance.

Ashburton: From the poor man's Glen Iris to 'a really hot pocket'