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About Melbourne

Still, we hates it, the whole game. Stinks worse than Mordor’s bogs. Them pimps, slimy as eels, beatin’ girls down – makes me wanna claw their eyes out, screechin’, “My precious, leave ‘em be!” An’ the punters, ugh, sweaty gits, thinkin’ they’re kings. Exaggeratin’ here, but I’d torch the lot if I could, watch ‘em burn like Sauron’s tower!

Chatime Townsville

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Ferny-Grove’s got this retro vibe, like a WALL-E scrap heap reimagined – “I’m burdnned with glorious purpose,” indeed! Right on Ferny Grove Road itself, near the train station (yep, the Ferny Grove Railway Station – absolute gem) where locals hustle in a blur of scooter fumes and chatter, ya know? The streets here are fulla stories; I’ve seen some cheeky characters and even the odd suit-wearing gal trying a new spa treatment in my parlor. Hah!

Fitting farewell to Ferny Grove officer