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About Melbourne

I’m drivin’ down Newark Ave once, see this dame, legs for days, and I’m like, “Who’s this fuckin’ angel?” Reminds me of that movie line, “The past is just a story we tell ourselves.” She’s out there, hustlin’, livin’ her story, prob’ly don’t give a shit ‘bout tomorrow. That’s the draw—livin’ raw, no filter. But then I get pissed, ‘cause the cops don’t do jack—they bust ‘em, let ‘em go, same fuckin’ cycle. Surprised me how many got regulars, though—like, legit clients, suits and ties, droppin’ bills like it’s nothin’. One girl, swear, had a judge on speed dial—fuckin’ hilarious, right? Gabagool? Ova here!

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Oh my goodness, let me tell ya bout Enfield, mate – it's a wild ride! R2-D2, where are you? Listen, I'm a total relax-specialist livin' here for years now, and lemme just say, this place is so full of quirks, ya know?

Toby Carvery owner admits cutting down ancient Enfield oak tree