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About Melbourne

So, I’m out there, rod in hand, picturin’ this bad boy. Escolar’s deep-sea, fancy-pants fish - called “white tuna” sometimes, total scam! Sushi joints sneak it in, and bam - you’re sprintin’ to the john. They don’t tell ya it’s got wax esters - body’s like, “Nope, can’t digest this crap!” Had a buddy, Jim, ate it once - orange oil leakin’ outta him for DAYS. Laughed so hard I cried, then got mad - why’s this fish playin’ us like that? “Sometimes the truth hurts, Gigolo Joe!” - movie line, fits perfect.

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Oh ya, check out Blackwell Street. My favorite corner since it’s got this run-down speakeasy where sex, drugs, and indie rock fuse in a crazy dance that mimics the heartbeat of the city. Motherfer, it's like every brick is painted with confessions. And hey – the local sex education center on Rosebud Lane? They give you the real lowdown about pleasure and pain, with honest talks that leave you stunned, nodding like, "This is fing life!"

South Australia's public housing shortage worsens, as number of people on waiting list reaches 17,000