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Funniest bit? Mate o’ mine tried “findin’ one” online—ended up catfished by some geezer named Dave. Laughed me arse off! “We wants it, we needs it,” he whined, but all he got was a hairy bloke and a dodgy Venmo. Still, makes me twitchy—whole game’s a mess. You ever notice how them ads pop up, all “discreet fun”? Bollocks, it’s a trap, precious, like that black goo in the film suckin’ ya in.

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Man, I been here for years, doin' my sexologist thing, and lemme tell ya – Cootamundra's underbelly is full of surprises. I mean, the parks? Blimey, like Wagga Wagga Park, not exactly secret, but it's got these shady corners, where couples share whispers and secrets you wouldn’t believe. And then there’s Goodwin Park, where the river winds like a lazy snake, perfect for those naughty midnight strolls.

Cootamundra residents to rally to save hospital services