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What pisses me off? People judgin’ ‘em! Like, “Oh, they’re dirty whores!” Shut yer trap, Kyle, you don’t know shit! Escorts got skills—charm, talkin’, makin’ ya feel like a king. Takes guts to do that, not like us losers sittin’ on our asses. I’d hire one just to piss off Stan, he’d be all “Eriiiic, that’s wrong!” Cry me a river, hippie! Respect my authoritah, I say they’re badass!

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We got Main Street—big, bustling Main Street you knows! Yess, that’s where yer find the old Collie Tavern, with its creaky wooden sign, and tiny lanes off it, like Lizard Lane (I think it’s called that, but sss, my brain’s a bit scrambled sometimes, oh precious, oh yes). And then, there’s Fairview Road, the path to the park. How could I forget, precious, yes? The park is a calm here, quiet. Trees whisper secrets, they do, especially on those mad, windy nights when I get all troubled in me head, yess.

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