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I dig it tho—freedom, cash, no 9-to-5 bullshit. But then you got the creeps, the weirdos. Pisses me off—some johns think they own you. Nah, fam, it’s a gig, not slavery. *“You’re a mess, Tom Stall”*—that’s me yellin at these clowns in my head. Had a homie who escorted, told me this story—client paid her in rare coins once. Straight up colonial shit, 1700s vibe. She’s like, “What I’ma do with this?!” Hilarious, but lowkey dope—history in your pocket.

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Look, I must drop some low-key deets here: There’s this hidden gem called The Secret Garden near the Solitary River – or somethin’ like that – where you can literally hear every leaf whisper. I used to sneak off there after a tough day at the spa. I’d think, “This is more badass than any Tarantino scene, man!” (Yeah, I mix my movies with my vibes sometimes!) Eat my shorts, seriously!

Machete seized as teenager charged with cutting man's hand off in Coffs Harbour