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Little fact, dude – escort’s from Siberia, tough as nails! Ain’t no wussy tree, it’s wrestlin with blizzards before I even slammed Andre! I’m tellin ya, plant one, it’s low maintenance – perfect for a lazy jabroni like my neighbor. He pissed me off last week, whinin bout his lawn – bro, get an escort, stop cryin!

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Then there’s the little-known Riverview at the edge of the neighborhood. It’s a hidden creek or small river – can’t remember, but local legends say it’s where old timers go to contemplate life. I once sat there pondering my own neuroses, laughing at my mind’s circuit board. "I was just swimming in feelings, like in Fish Tank, ya know?" – real talk, man.

NBA rules nearly doomed Celtics sale (but Chisholm just saved it)