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About Melbourne

What pisses me off? Cheap parlors givin’ it a bad rap—grubby hands, neon signs, ugh, tacky! I’m Loki, I deserve finesse, not some rushed rubdown! But when it’s good? Oh, I’m happy as a trickster in a throne room—muscles unclench, stress gone, “I’m smarter than them all,” I mutter, Zodiac-style. Surprised me once, too—didja know some pros use hot stones? Feels like Thor’s hammer smashin’ knots, but sexy-like. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I’d kill for that heat again!

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There's this creek—I think it's called Kumbatta Creek or something—that you almost forget exists till you're standin' on its banks. Reminds me how life, just like in those gritty flicks, flows wild and untamed. Seriously, I get all philosophical, "I ate his liver with fava beans!" I mean, shit's deep sometimes.

Plumber dies in Sydney trench collapse