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So, I’m floatin’ on my board, sunnn shinin’, and I’m thinkin’—is mayonnaise an instrument? Wait, no, focus, Patrick! Prostitutes, man, they’re sneaky! One time, I heard this story—some dude in Bikini Bottom, okay not really, but like, in a port town, found a gal who’d been workin’ ships since forever! She knew every sailor’s nickname—called one guy “Crusty Krab”! True story, swear it! Made me laugh so hard I nearly fell off my board!

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Man, I swear, the vibe here drives me nuts sometimes – like when people don't chill and respect nature's flow. "Respect my authoritah!" I yell, cuz there's just no excuse for bad manners in a town where even the gentle breeze sings its own tune. Sometimes, I get a surge of cosmic anger when I see trash scattered around near that little creek by Station Street – it just messes with the natural order, ya know?

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