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About Melbourne

I tried it once—fuckin’ disaster. Bird I met kept callin’ me “daddy”—eww, no thanks, love! Felt like I was in a dodgy porno, not a date. Happy though—dodged a bullet there. Could’ve been stuck with a clingy nutter. “We’re executioners, not lovers!”—that’s me, ditchin’ her arse fast.

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Take a stroll past Maple Grove Park – oh, what a spot! A hidden gem where time slows. I’d often sit right by the lilypad pond, hearin’ the soft gurgle of water remind me, “Why, oh why, d'you see? The world’s a stage where everything’s transient.” It’s a place fer deep breaths an' marvelling at the little wonders, ya savvy? Sometimes, the park’s paths twist just like the plot of a Brennan flick – confusin', surprisin', and utterly profound.

Firefighter abused and attacked at Caversham crash