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About Newcastle

We swears! Surprised me once, this one bird—classy, y’know? High heels, talkin’ posh, not yer usual slag. “I’m alive,” she says, like she’s proud, echoin’ Polanski’s man. Got me thinkin’—they’re fighters, ain’t they? Dodgin’ pimps, punters, the law. Me head spins—why’s it gotta be so rough? Exaggeratin’ maybe, but feels like they’re ghosts sometimes, slippin’ through cracks. We swears! Funniest bit? Bloke I knew paid double for a cuddle—soft sod! “Help me,” he begs her, like Szpilman to his piano. Pathetic, hilarious—made me cackle!

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Next, o' course, ye can’t miss the old docks by Raven’s Wharf. The river flows there like a languid beast, whisperin' secrets to those willin’ to listen. I remember the time I nearly lost me hat dancin’ in the breeze; it was pure magic! Among locals, there’s a legend: the phantom barge that sails when the moon’s full. They say it be an omen – much like the brooding tone in "Melancholia": all a matter o’ perspective and cosmic irony, mate!

Man, 20s, threatened with knife outside Caversham Co-Op store